A little from column A, a little from column B then? Identifying things that make you sad is okay, it’s always better knowing than not knowing. I sometimes have a lot of misplaced sorrow, in the sense that I can’t identify what’s wrong, so I grow tired and frustrated with myself. I’m sorry if things haven’t been great for you lately; I’m hoping that you can learn more about what’s affecting you can hopefully be a baby step towards positive change, no matter how deliberate or accidental it may be.
I am on the way to being okay. Things haven’t been the greatest in the last few months, but I’ve acknowledged that I’m not as strong as I thought and need a little more life support (that I have been trying to seek out from friends and professionals.) The rut that I have been stuck in is getting a little smoother; steadily making some new friends, working hard to start some new work prospects. I’m also looking into some alternative schooling and writing degrees, because I feel that while a lot of my sorrow stems from my education difficulties, it sometimes feels that emptying my brain out on paper makes more sense than anything else. I would love to find a way to harness that ability and for people to encourage it, and I think I have realised that it needs to be away from my university’s competitive atmosphere. Somehow.
I hope you feel better soon. I’m glad to hear that in the moment you are okay.